An End of a Blog

So much has happened since March of 2017, my last entry. I’ve competed in a bunch of  races, including my first triathlon since September of 2014 (that 1/2 ironman must have really scarred me, lol), a duathlon (I won first place in my age group! granted it was cold, wet and the field was tiny), two ragnars (DC & Cape Cod- such fun adventures!), a half marathon (huge PR @ just under 1hr32!) and a bunch of 5k/10ks. Through it all I had some really consistent periods where I was healthy, but also several where I was dealing with one injury or another.

Most recently, a little over two months ago, during a high-volume (for me) running period, I started experiencing a lot of pain in my right big toe, not too far from where I previously had a stress fracture. For once I decided to take it easy at the earliest warning sign instead of running through it. I took off a week from running, then two. I tried to use the elliptical and the pain was exacerbated, so I took a third, and fourth week off. I decided to stretch it to 6 weeks to give myself time to recover in case it was a stress fracture, and then 8 weeks. In the middle of all of that, I started ramping up my riding to make up for the lack of running. As fate would have it, someone crashed into me in Central Park (first collision I’ve ever had with another person) and took a pretty tough rumble. The superficial scratches and some pain in my wrist were the most immediate pains, but eventually a pain in my palm set in. A few weeks after that, while weight lifting, I stressed my shoulder. This was a real frustration because it made swimming difficult, which I had picked back up for the first time in about  6 months, again the idea that I would cross train by biking and swimming while I couldn’t run. Left and right it seemed like I was getting injured and couldn’t catch a break.

Then came my most recent challenge- persistent chest pain that landed me in the ER for 9 hours. Multiple EKGs, blood work, and a chest xray later, and I was discharged with a tentative diagnosis of pericarditis, essentially inflammation of the sac around the heart (pericardium), which sounds worse than it is. Follow up testing was sort of inconclusive, but I’m being treated as if I have it. So, no strenuous activity until the swelling goes down (hopefully 1-2 weeks, aided by high does of NSAIDs). Coincidentally, at the beginning of that week I started getting evaluated for my hand pain, as well as my toe pain (and long standing arch pain and swelling). After all of the testing and evaluation, it turns out I don’t have a fracture in my hand, but probably strained/bruised some tendons. And I don’t have a (new) stress fracture in my foot, but do have some confirmed early arthritis in my ankle and arch, which combined with an arch that slightly collapses, has lead to a lot of my foot troubles. One doctor said orthotic shoes were the only solution, the other, thought getting back into sneakers with firm arch support (I had moved away from that some years ago), combined with light in-home PT would do the trick. I had actually previously been doing my own PT at home for my arch and heel, but wound up straining my Achilles…go figure.

So, in the end, I had a really good stretch for about a year, followed by a what feels like a complete breakdown the last two months. I have another week or two with no strenuous activity (I’ll probably do some yoga). I’ve ordered sneakers with arch support and will take everything easy when I come back. This last stretch has been kind of frustrating because I felt like I learned my lesson and completely stopped running at the first sign of toe pain (which itself was random), but then wound up getting crashed and with pericarditis. The shoulder strain in and of itself wasn’t a huge deal, but admittedly was my fault. Still, absent everything else, I could have happily continued running/biking for the week or so it would take that strain to get better.

All of this aside, this feels like a good time to stop writing in this blog. I haven’t written an actual entry in about a year and a half and mostly was using the training page to track my workouts. However, since I’ve been tracking my workouts in Strava for years, it has started to feel redundant, particularly since I’ve started adding manual activities in Strava (weight lifting, swimming, yoga) whereas previously I only had running and biking entries. It feels like a big deal to stop tracking my workouts here since I’ve been doing it for the past 8 years, but it will be okay– when I stopped tracking my workouts in separate excel charts it felt like I was losing something too, but now I don’t miss them at all. This blog has always just been a space for me to articulate my thoughts about my training, races, and evolution as an athlete over the years, and was never intended to be for a public audience (outside of the few times I did fundraising for events and credited people on this blog). I suspect I’ll come back from time to time and reflect on my entries over the years.

If I’ve learned anything from tracking my activities over the years, there’s two really clear lessons– 1) I have great potential and my body responds to consistent training, which has lead to some great successes over the years, and 2) I also have a proclivity for getting carried away to the point of injury. Almost all runners get injured, so perhaps its unavoidable, but I have tried to learn from lesson #2 and be more thoughtful about my workload.

Moving forward, I suspect I’ll continue to approach being active with a mix of enthusiasm and caution/moderation. I love being in motion, challenging my body and seeing what I can do and that will be a hard urge to resist. It will help knowing though that if I don’t check myself, my body will!

-kd-

Reset

So much has happened since my last post when I was dealing with the news I mostly likely had osteoarthiritis in my right ankle. I spent some time on PT and resting and wound up actually having a pretty good year, including my first-ever duathlon and an amazing 5k PR of 00:19:18, taking home my second running award ever, placing 3rd in my division and in the top 10 overall. I was feeling so good about my running that I ramped up my distance with the intention of running a half marathon in December. Everything was on track until I became very ill and had to take a week off running. When I returned, I had inexplicable pain in my knee that wouldn’t go away while running. I tried to rest, stretch, run less, but the pain kept returning. So I decided to take time off and focus on strengthening my knee.

I was in the midst of a very productive winter training session with a lot of strength building, when I had a snowboarding accident. I wound up being knocked out, suffering a concussion, and bruised/cut/swollen lips. As a result of the concussion, the doctor advised I avoid strenuous physical activity (aka working out) for about a month. That was a real blow, not only because I was in a really good place fitness-wise, but because it was yet again, another injury/setback on my health.

After all of the start and stops with my body injuries, I think I’m finally ready to accept that I probably won’t be running to the same level for a while, and in the long term. I was really enjoying the strength training I was doing, and can see myself moving towards more fitness/cross training/cross fit type work outs, plus adding in yoga for strength and flexibility which has always been a missing link in my fitness. I’ll ease back into running as I’m able, and I have a Ragnar on the table for September, but I have a different vision for now. I’m really going to be focused on my fitness, strength and health, as opposed to all-out, and as much as possible, running. And if I’m not healthy and ready for that race, then I’ll pull out. I’m going to prioritize health above all else.

-kd-

 

 

 

 

Osteoarthritis?

So it seems like the cause of the swelling in my ankle joint was possibly early signs of osteoarthritis. The treatment for such is primarily activity modification; aka not running so much. I’m obviously not thrilled about this, and its been a string of injuries and set backs really for several years now, so it may just be time to think about quality instead of quantity. If I can run a couple of times a week and toss in some sprint-tri’s here and there, I’ll be happy. A major bummer of course, but there are worse things– I’m grateful for what I still can do.

 

-kd-

New Year, New Chance

So its the new year and I’m very eager to try to get back into the swing of things. I’ve more or less been sidelined since September with a string of ailments in the hip, ankle and shoulder. Coupled with holiday merriment and the cold weather, suffice to say it’s time to get back in shape.

Despite not an insignificant investment of time in physical therapy, the hip seems like it might require surgical intervention. It seems that the torn ligament is catching in my hip as it did in my other knee before I had that one repaired. The ankle swelling seems to be going down, and oddly enough it seems to improve with activity, not rest. Still, I’m going to get it checked out. And the same deal with the shoulder– the pain seems to be subsiding…It could also possibly just be with time both are improving, or a result of the glucosamine & chondroitin I started taking.

Either way, this first week of 2016 I’ve hit the gym three times, with both some free weight and stationary bike work. These dark, cold days, coupled with an increase in work makes getting to the gym tough, but I’m going to do my best to see it through. In 2016 I’m also hoping for health and fitness- for the first time in a while I’m not dreaming about or planning significant events. We’ll see

-kd-

Insult to Injury…

While trying to work through my hip injury in PT, I suddenly developed pain and swelling in my right ankle. Despite weeks of rest and anti-inflammatories, the swelling has still not completely subsided, and occasionally still generates pain when used. And now, about a week ago, I’ve developed pain in my left shoulder. All of it inexplicable. So frustrating.

-kd-

Season Over

So it was confirmed– a labral hip tear and bursitis. No running for foreseeable future; a prescription for physical therapy. A few weeks into therapy, I developed significant pain and swelling in the ankle of the other foot– perhaps caused by tight dress shoes? Either way, I’m down for the count, but hope to be ready for training in January….

-kd-

Retrospect

It’s been a long time since my last entry here– almost a year actually since my first 1/2 ironman in Sept 2014. About a month and a half after that race, I ran my second marathon ever, and first in NYC. One of the things that sticks out in my mind about that race is how incredibly annoying the pre-race transportation and waiting were. I opted to take a subway to the ferry to Staten Island. Once on the island, we had to wait around for a long time in the terminal before the buses were ready to take us to the starting area. Hundreds of us literally just laid around on the floor, trying to keep warm or catch some shut-eye. Finally, when we took the bus, it took a very long time to get to the start (which wasn’t actually that far) because the roads were not shut down to local traffic. Once we got to the starting area, we had to do a quick security check, and then do a lot more waiting around once we figured out where we were actually supposed to wait based on our wave. The lines for the porta-pottys were as ridiculous as you would expect for an event with nearly 40,000 people.

Once we actually started running– a long climb out of Staten Island across the Verezano- we were immediately given a preview of what we would experience for the rest of the day: hills and strong winds. I run in NYC a lot, but mostly in Central Park, and really wasn’t prepared for the amount of climbing that was involved in all of the bridge crossings, and some of the long false flats, like up 1st Ave in Manhattan, or down 5th ave in the home stretch. The winds buffeted us throughout the day, and I think threw everyone off their goal pace. Although I was chagrined to have to walk as much as I did in the closing miles, my finishing time of 3hr38, was only 10 minutes slower than my marathon of several years prior, which was run without the relentless winds, and was a much flatter course, so after some separation from my initial disappointment, the time really wasn’t that bad. In fact– the winning time of the marathon that day was literally the slowest in a decade thanks to the winds which were gusting up to 40mph at times.

At the finish I wasn’t prepared for the pain at all. My last marathon had been four years prior, and time had softened the memory of just how much it hurt. With tens of thousands of runners still to cross the line behind us, they immediately shepherd us through the longest finishing corral ever– we literally had to walk about a mile to exit. In those moments there is no escape from the pain– standing is hell, walking is hell, sitting is slightly less hell. It was also incredibly cold– throughout the marathon we faced freezing temperatures, which are made bearable by running. Hours later, drenched in sweat and walking slowly, the cold wind is just insult to injury. Aside  from all the discomfort (it is a marathon, afterall), it was an amazing experience to run through the five boroughs and across all the bridges. And the home stretch in Central Park just felt right. All in all, I still don’t think I’d want to run this course again, except many years from now when I forget all this!

Soon after I finished the marathon, I shifted my focus to shorter distance running for the remainder of the year. Earlier in the year I had set three goals: to complete a half ironman, break 3hr30 in the marathon, and break 21min in the 5k. The first one completed, and the second one just missed, I wanted to focus on the 5k goal. Almost two months later, I toed the line of the Roosevelt Island Hot Chocolate 5k, and let loose. Despite the cold, and icy slush puddles, a little while later I was pumped to smash my 21 minute goal by finishing in 00:20:19. Several months later, in April 2015, I ran the course again and was ecstatic to set another PR and actually win an award! From the start, I was among the leading runners, which was definitely an alien experience, and I kept worrying that I was going to blow up from pushing too hard. In my racing experience, I am usually steadily passing people through the course of a race, so being in the lead pack was intimidating and made it a bit tougher to hang on since there weren’t people I could constantly “reel in”. I’ve never received anything beyond a finishers medal, so to have run well enough to take home an age-group trophy (3rd, M 30-39) was incredible. Overall, I finished in 00:20:10– fast enough to break into the top 10!

Over the winter and into early 2015, I started thinking about what my goals for the year were going to be. For several years, I had been increasing the length of my triathlon (sprint–> olympic–> half iron) and so next up, and my goal for a long time, had been to complete a full-length ironman. The more I thought about it though in the early months of 2015, and working on choosing a race and putting my training plan together, the less enthusiastic I was feeling. Training for, and completing for an ironman takes an extreme amount of commitment and effort, and it didn’t feel right (or possible!) to pursue it halfheartedly. I acknowledged this wasn’t going to be the year, and instead decide to focus on an ultra marathon, which for some time, I had assumed would be my new goal after I finished an ironman.

Ultra-marathons, described as anything over marathon length, are typically the 50k (~32 miles, or 6 miles/10k longer than a marathon), 50 miles and 100 miles, though there are certainly other distances, like the 60k, or the time-based race, where runners go as far as they can go in a prescribed amount of time. For 2015, a 50 miler seemed like too steep of a jump from the marathon, so I planned to do a 50k and a 60k. Injuries and other problems conspired to make that unrealistic, so at this point, I’m shooting for a 50k in November in a run called the “Madhattan”– a small (50 runners), self-supported run around the perimeter of Manhattan.

Unfortunately, right now, I’m dealing with my third “challenge” of the year. First, beginning in May, I began to experience what most closely seemed to mimic over training syndrome– I struggled with motivation, and my performance fell off a cliff. Running as hard as I could would only move me about as fast as a painfully slow pace. I felt fatigued all the time, and really struggled. Around the same time, I began to experience significant pain in my foot that seemed to be the early warning signs of plantar fasciitis.This caused me to cut back drastically for about a month, with hardly any running, and was very frustrating. Since then, in the past few months, I’ve been experiencing a lot of foot pain in the area of my old stress fracture. And most recently, I’ve been experiencing some hip pain/popping which seems like it might be bursitis– an inflamed bursa on the hip bone

For now I’m taking a few days off and hoping I can resume my training. Despite all the issues I’ve had this year, by focusing solely on running, I’ve been able to more consistently commit to in, and have logged more miles at this point of the year, than any other year since I’ve started tracking my mileage. Hopefully I can stay on track for this 50k, and then maybe bang out one more fast 5k in December. I’m not really in a position to set myself up for it, training wise, but it would be amazing to break 20 minutes this year.

-kd-

To Run

a foot slaps the pavement, hard–
tendons, ligaments, thousands of fibers stretching and vibrating,
micro-tears running up their spine.

the arch, straining, bending,
only kept from collapsing
by once bright blue and yellow sneakers,
now clouded with dirt.

the shock travels the leg, shaking the battered calf
just before hitting the knee– Once, a doctor hovered over the knee,
peering through a tiny camera, confidently hacking away at ragged meniscal tissue
and now, pavement,
vibrating through the joint, feels a bit harder,
the remaining cartilage buckling under the load.

the mighty Quad, unfailing and resolute in its charge,
barely flinches, the pressure rolling off
and to the sides,
the thigh– uncertain its role– submits,
shaking with little purpose.

the hamstring, for the moment unfazed,
as if just along for the ride,
will pay,
eventually.

ever-moving upward, the force hits the gut,
and the core– hardened by effort, softened by sugar–
attempts to hold the upper,
and the lower halves,
together. And so long as the danger threshold: more than a few sips of water,
is not exceeded, will not complain.

the beating heart, a messy tumble of
pulsing ventricles and chambers, fills with viscous blood,
before it shudders, sending fresh life
to all reaches of the body.
how close to the red zone, the danger zone– the point of no return,
impossible to know, and really,
such considerations crowded out by the immediacy of its duty.
it will do its job, without fail,
until it does.

the lungs, misshapen, and delicate air bags
Expand
and collapse,
erratically—
the once measured, and deep,
sacrificed,
for the rapid
and shallow.

the arms ride high, with insistent
ever-forward jabs, hands wrapped tightly
around keys,
and sticky packets of GU,
long since emptied.

And the face.
once softened with serotonin,
now drawn,
in hard, determined, slightly desperate lines,
and dotted with small insects–trapped on contact
by the salty,
sweat-drenched skin.

the eyes, vision darkening,
narrowing,
drift downward,
as if to hide, from the imminent suffering,
of another
Incline.

the brain, willing the body forward
despite all signals to the contrary,
asserts its dominance, once more–
head rises, arms drive, lungs fill, abdomen tightens, hamstrings contract, calves flex–
and another step is taken; the ground, rushing up,
to inflict
its punishment
once more.

And yet—

a smile,
creeps over the lips.

-kd-

1/2 Iron!

So usually my updates here are about injuries and setbacks– this one will be a positive. Last month I completed my first 1/2 Ironman! On Sept 28th, I raced in the Mighty Montauk, out at the very tip of Long Island. Overall, I had a positive experience; my first major concern was allayed when we arrived to warm 80 degree weather. In the weeks leading up to the race, fall had descended in full force and I was concerned that the swim would be very cold. When I slipped into the lake race morning however, it was comfortably warm, which was a great way to start.

During the swim, I felt good. I’m not the fastest swimmer, but fortunately I’m not the (absolute) slowest either. However, I did have significant problems with sighting– I kept veering off-course on the return portion of the out-and-back 1.2 mile swim, and am fairly confident I tacked on to up an additional 1/5 of a mile.. I was feeling frustrated by this, and so was very pleasantly surprised when I emerged from the water in just under 48 minutes, which was more or less what I had been shooting for.

I’ve never really taken transitions seriously. In my mind the race is so long that if I take 1 or 2 minutes extra to catch my breath and change clothes, it’s ok. That being said, I probably should be a bit quicker– my T1 was just over 5 minutes, which is pretty long. Once I was on the bike however, I felt good. The course was rolling, with a couple of climbs. Ultimately I think I prefer this sort of course to a flat one, since a flat course requires consistent, all-out effort for the whole time, whereas on a rolling course, there is a bit variation in effort, and reprieve on the back sides of climbs. I did the vast majority of the course in a road position instead of on my tri bars. This was a result of my primarily training in this position, and as such, I didn’t develop a preference for, at least comfort with, that position over extended periods of time. That wasn’t a mistake on my part though. With all the pedestrian traffic in Central Park (where I do 99% of my riding), and the uptick in accidents, its just not feasible for me to train in an aero position.

Coming off the bike, my legs felt a bit heavy, and I knew I would be in for a tough run. I finished the bike in just over 3 hours, which was much quicker than the 3hr10 to 3hr30 I had anticipated. What I didn’t realize however, was just how much I was going to pay for that on-the-bike speed (avg of 18.5mph). The first mile or two out of transition were absolutely brutal. I was barely able to muster more than a shuffle, and the thought repeatedly crossed my mind that I wasn’t going to finish, that I should just drop out. Mental toughness is undoubtedly a part of triathlon, and I had to dig deep to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

From the suffering in those initial minds I knew I couldn’t focus on the full run length that remained before me, or just how much longer I had to be on my feet. I decided to buckle down, adjust my expectations of race pace and finishing time, and take it one slow mile after the other. Making matters worse though, the course was tough. There were lots of steep climbs and I felt no shame in walking up the inclines. I’ve always been a purist in racing, feeling that I had to run every step of a marathon, that I had to push as hard as possible every step. At this point though, I realized that this was about finishing a race, not about time, and walking up the hills was the most practical way to save myself for the rest of the course. From several books about ultramarathoning I’ve learned that the athletes often walk up hills too. It turns out its not that much faster to run uphill (unless you burn all of your matches taking them fast), and in saving yourself, you are able to bomb the downhills and the flats, ultimately resulting in a faster performance.

The run was a two-loop course, and it was pretty demoralizing that the end of the first loop, to be just feet away from the finishing line. Knowing what you just went through, and that you were so far from the actual finish while being so physically close, was rough! Anyway, by this time I was feeling better. I think the first couple of miles were about getting my feet back under me, and loosening up from 3 hours on the bike. After that it was just grit, and a commitment to keep moving, no matter what. When I finally brought it home, 2hrs11 later, I was absolutely thrilled that I had beaten my expected finishing time. It turns out that even though my run was 13 minutes longer (a bit over 1 min per mile slower) than I had predicted, since my bike was so much faster, my cumulative time of 6hr09 was about 15-20 minutes faster than I had expected at the outset.

Just yards from the finish line I saw Brisa, which really perked me up, and she was able to snap this perfect picture:

In the immediate minutes, hours and days after the race, I could not possibly conceive of doing double what I just went through. But deep down inside I know I’ve already set myself on that course, and will next year, be able to call myself an “Ironman”.

-kd-

A Perfect Storm

Coming into the home stretch leading up to my first ever 1/2 ironman, a perfect storm came together. First, I think I began to push my workouts a bit too hard/long in the closing weeks. The 60mi bike/10mi run brick probably should have occurred one or two weeks prior, and it probably shouldn’t have been followed up by a 1/2 marathon effort just a few days later. The very slow pace I had on that run should have been a warning sign.

Second, the summer drew to a close. Gone were the days of workdays ending at 5pm with plenty of daylight, early Fridays, and Monday’s off. As the sun went down earlier and I left work later, I started finding myself completing, then starting workouts in the dark, which was a major mental bummer, and really limited my riding for safety reasons- whipping through central park at 20+ mph in the dark isn’t the best idea.

Third, and probably most significant– I began a vegetarian diet. Without getting into the why, I pretty much went cold turkey. Around the time of all these changes I began to lose all motivation for working out. For months, since the spring, I’ve been swimming, running and riding my way across the City in preparation for this race. And while of course there are times when I just didn’t feel up to it, it wasn’t an insurmountable task to get out the door. Recently, I’ve felt 0% motivation to get out and do anything, which is uncharacteristic for me. My training suffered greatly the last three weeks, with very nominal efforts.

It was only when I went to the doctor to get my baseline nutrition readings (to set a benchmark against to measure my health 3-6 months into my new vegetarian lifestyle), and the results came back showing low iron/possible anemia. Pretty much everything I’ve read online since says the lack of motivation/energy I’ve experienced is a risk for endurance athletes in general, and vegetarians. Combining the two would seemingly put me at significant risk of anemia, and given that I sweat much more than the usual athlete, I was probably losing even more iron.

So here I am, 1 week out from my first 1/2 iron, and my training pretty much blown up for last 2.5 weeks. Its a major bummer, and since I’ve learned of the issue, I’ve been trying to eat iron-rich foods (pumpkin seeds, etc), as well as have orange juice which can aid in absorption, but it can take a long time to restore iron levels. I was warned about switching to this diet so close to a major race, and I guess I should have listened.

We’ll see how I do next week I guess, and since this is a long-term change, I’ll make sure to figure out how to get appropriate nutrition for my active lifestyle moving forward.

-kd-